He's not just any Guardsman, he is THE Guardsman.

Somewhere in the universe a coin flip lands on its side.

Somewhere in the universe a drop of water saves a life.

Somewhere in the universe a pebble stops a landslide.

Maybe it is because someone believed hard enough.

Maybe it is because everything is secretly fair.

Maybe it is because the universe is a vast place.

Yesterday, I was very cold.

Yesterday, I was very hungry.

Yesterday, I wanted to run away.

Today, I am going to believe hard enough.

Today, a pebble will stop a landslide.

Today, I am not going anywhere.

ALL HAIL

Stringstorm Harbringer(?) playing in the background